Tag Archives: vulnerability

Sheryl Sandberg: What Her Vulnerability Teaches Us About Grief And Love

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“Sheryl Sandberg’s ability to find such meaning and write so eloquently in the darkest of times is so inspiring and will help so many people coping with grief and loss in their own lives. Thank you for being such a true leader, in every sense”.

Randi Zuckerberg

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Whether you’ve suffered the loss of a loved one yourself or would like to learn more about how to support someone who has, Sheryl Sandberg’s account of her grief since her husband, Dave Goldberg’s, sudden death last month, is as powerful as it is inspiring.

The COO of Facebook and the bestselling author of ‘Lean In: Women, Work and the Will To Lead’ she may be, but this lady is far more than your run of the mill corporate machine.

Her bravery in opening her heart to the world at such a painful time is only matched by her eloquence in expressing the most complex emotions with such softness and love. More than that, her ability to empathise with others at such a traumatic time, from her mother’s pain to her colleagues’ and fellow parents’ awkwardness, shows her in her full beauty.

The death of her husband, who was, by public reaction alone, clearly a remarkable and generous man, also reminded me of her truly powerful advice about marriage:

“When looking for a life partner, my advice to women is date all of them: the bad boys, the cool boys, the commitment-phobic boys, the crazy boys. But do not marry them. The things that make the bad boys sexy do not make them good husbands. When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner. Someone who thinks women should be smart, opinionated and ambitious. Someone who values fairness and expects or, even better, wants to do his share in the home. These men exist and, trust me, over time, nothing is sexier.”

If her grief is a measure of her love for her husband, which it surely is, we really should take note.

Read her full account here.

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#sherylsandberg

#love

#loss

#vulnerability 

The Power Of Vulnerability

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I find the below the single scariest emotion in life.

“You can’t get to courage without walking through vulnerability. Vulnerability is at the core, the heart, the centre, of meaningful human experiences” 

Brene Brown

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How Does Vulnerability Make Us Feel?

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While it’s truly heartening to know that vulnerability is an unavoidable part of really living, it doesn’t necessarily make us feel more comfortable when we feel vulnerable. Vulnerability has us asking all sorts of questions from, “Will they still love me if they see my imperfections?”, “Will it be a turnoff when they realise I’m not Superwoman?”, “How can I manage my vulnerability while still allowing this person to really get to know me?”

Why’s Vulnerability So Hard To Show?

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In my personal experience, feeling vulnerable is a double edged sword. I know if I’m showing someone my true self I’m in a healthy relationship – which is progress – but I know that this is also The Great Test - being accepted warts and all, for the imperfect little girl in me as well as the more polished woman. And tests are scary.

But experience has, bit by bit, strengthened my understanding of the vulnerability that Brene Brown so beautifully talks about in her Ted Talk, “The Power Of Vulnerability“.  This is what I’ve learned…

Why Is It So Important To Be Vulnerable?

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If you’re unable to be vulnerable, a relationship will never truly progress – at least not to a meaningful level which revolves around trust, intimacy and truth. Sorry Gazer, but there’s just no getting around letting your true self be seen if you’re seeking authentic relationships which move beyond the superficial.

And news flash for the most vulnerable Gazers out there – we’re all human, we’re all imperfect, we all want to feel loved for the good, the bad and the ugly. That’s what real love is, isn’t it?

So if you meet someone who is bowled over by your Superwoman energy, the kind of man that’s spewing superlatives your way, “You’re the most extraordinary woman”, “You – are – literally – Perfect”, Tom Cruise jumping off a couch kinda stuff, enjoy it, but remember that even Superwoman has bad days. And if they’re really your kinda Superman, they’ll jump your way whenever you’re you – with or without your cape.

How Can You Manage Vulnerability?

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Resist worrying about whether someone will still rate you once they’ve seen your vulnerability – instead empower yourself by remembering that it’s YOUR Great Test of THEM. Are they heroic enough to scoop you up when you feel wobbly, are they kind enough to nourish your soul when it needs nourishing, do they care enough to show you that they’re stronger than others who may’ve shaken your confidence when you let yourself be seen?

How Does Vulnerability Lead To Truth?

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Anyone who doesn’t accept you, warts and all, wee Gazer, just isn’t worth your time. The greatest of men I’ve met have been at their best when I’m a blubbering mess and the not so great were rather less dazzling at moments where I needed support. Those were the moments of truth, dear Gazer. The authentic moments which, yes, may hugely disappoint us, but which also forge or break our views of others. So, you see, while vulnerability may be frightening, it’s actually The Great Leveller – in revealing who we truly are, others reveal themselves to us in their purest forms. And that – that is the truth of things. That is where meaning begins and real intimacy takes root.

How Can We Apply This In Our Lives?

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Courage is hard, but be your courageous, beautiful, authentic self and let those who are truly deserving of your authenticity come and light up your life with their beauty and love.

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#vulnerability

#courage

#truth

#love

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