Happy Tuesday, wee Gazer
If you’re one of my big-hearted Gazers suffering from heartbreak, heartache or any kind of crise de coeur at the moment, I’m here to tell you you’re not alone.
Contrary to Facebook usually being a place of smug love shots, one of my friends posted a painful diary type entry last week starting “32 and single”. She’d just split from her fiancé of five years and was feeling anything but smug. Another friend has just split from her love of 9 years, while another beauty was stunned by the sudden end of a relationship that she thought might be just what she’d been waiting for.
I’ve been there myself and I know all too well the pain of something you’d imagined lasting forever, ending. The horrible, blood stopping realisation that things aren’t to be how you imagined – that surreal acceptance that knows deep down (reluctantly but starkly) – that there’s no going back – things have – somehow – changed.
I’m not going to lie – it’s not easy – it may even be one of the most painful experiences of your life – maybe the worst – but it WILL pass – eventually – with time, love and more love from you family, friends and yourself. I know because I’ve been there.
We were all stunned – blindsided – it made no sense at the time – but with the benefit of hindsight – it really did – it made sense – and it stopped hurting. And you know what? The underlying incompatibilities I eventually saw make me all the more grateful for finding the strong, opinionated man I’m with today and for the quiet calm that knows, deep down – that however vulnerable I feel – whatever happens – I will be alright – time moves on, hearts mend and the universe will bring love again. Usually a far deeper kind.
So, if you’re one of my lovely Gazers feeling far from yourself right now, believe me when I say that you WILL feel yourself again. And while there’s no quick fix, the positive lessons and strength that will grow out of that feeling of raw vulnerability – that sense of nearly losing yourself entirely – will become the seeds of your future happiness, gratitude and certainty – and when your true love finds you – you will be so much richer for your past losses – so much more grateful, blessed and able to cope with the slings and arrows that life throws your way – in every sense.
And if nothing else, hold onto the hopeful words of Victor Hugo:
“Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise”.
Sending you big bear hugs full of love ox