Tag Archives: friendship

Top Tips For Success: Why Knowing Your Values Is So Key

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The above picture is me suited and booted working as a lawyer in London. The picture below is me last week climbing up a rock face in France where I work as an online life coach and writer.

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Luckily for me, my family encouraged my career shift. They could see I wasn’t happy working 24/7 no matter how interesting the work was and they sensed that coaching would bring the happiness and balance that I sought.

My parents were a little more concerned, however, when I told them I was thinking of moving to France to live with the long-haired French boy who rented me my skis ;)

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Why Big Decisions Can Be So Hard…

It’s not always easy to make a confident decision when the people you value most are unsure themselves. It can make you question yourself, your drivers and your idea of happiness. But your nearest and dearest will end up sharing in your happiness when they see you all lit up inside – following what makes you tick. Because if you’re all lit up, chances are you’re living your life in accordance with your values. 

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The trick is just working out what drives you. Simple, right?!

A Short-Cut From A to B….

Core-Values

If you’re not entirely sure what your values are as most of us aren’t, here are a few wee tricks to help you make a short list of about 8-10 of your core drivers in order of priority, whether financial security, love, travelling, socialising, career or beyond…

- When are you at your happiest?
– When do you feel most excited?
– What couldn’t you live without?
– If you had 6 months left to live, what would you do?
– What did your 10 year old self love and why?
– What are you most proud of?
– What is your gut saying?
– What do you hate? (The opposite is often a key driver)

Why Is Knowing Your Your Values So Key?

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And if you’re wondering why it’s so important to take the time to work out your values, remember, having a firmer grip on what motivates you day to day will refine and strengthen you on every level, helping you to forge stronger friendships, romances, careers and fulfilment at large.

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#truth

#values

#success

The Real Reason You Should Never Put Your Other Half Above Your Friends

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“Never let a boyfriend be more important than your friends… in the end… whose shoulder will you cry on when it’s over?”

We’re all pretty similar when it comes to love, aren’t we?

We’ve all obsessed a little too much about finding love when not in relationships and got a little too high on oxytocin when we’re in love.

But if there’s one thing I’ve learnt over the years, it’s the value of friends who are not only there through thick and thin but also there whether attached or unattached.

What’s The Value Of Friends Who Keep It Real?

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I’ve remarked that those who maintain, let alone prioritise friendships over their other-halves seem to have healthier longterm relationships, exuding independence and identity outside their love bubble. And guess what?

Turns out there’s real truth in this according to the experts…

What’s Does Esther Perel Know That We Don’t?

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Psychotherapist, Esther Perel’s study into ‍‘The Secret Of Desire In A Longterm Relationship’ illustrates this perfectly – finding that the overwhelming reply to the question: “When do you find yourself most drawn to your partner?” was, across 20 countries:

“I am most drawn to my partner when she is away, when we are apart, when we reunite. Basically, when I get back in touch with my ability to imagine myself with my partner, when my imagination comes back in the picture, and when I can root it in absence and in longing, which is a major component of desire”.

I guess that’s why the most independent women I know are often the ones in the most exciting, energised relationships!

If you’d like to learn more, watch Esther’s fascinating Ted Talk here.

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‍#foodforthought

#independenceinlove

#poweroffriendship