“Never let a boyfriend be more important than your friends… in the end… whose shoulder will you cry on when it’s over?”
We’re all pretty similar when it comes to love, aren’t we?
We’ve all obsessed a little too much about finding love when not in relationships and got a little too high on oxytocin when we’re in love.
But if there’s one thing I’ve learnt over the years, it’s the value of friends who are not only there through thick and thin but also there whether attached or unattached.
What’s The Value Of Friends Who Keep It Real?
I’ve remarked that those who maintain, let alone prioritise friendships over their other-halves seem to have healthier longterm relationships, exuding independence and identity outside their love bubble. And guess what?
Turns out there’s real truth in this according to the experts…
What’s Does Esther Perel Know That We Don’t?
Psychotherapist, Esther Perel’s study into ‘The Secret Of Desire In A Longterm Relationship’ illustrates this perfectly – finding that the overwhelming reply to the question: “When do you find yourself most drawn to your partner?” was, across 20 countries:
“I am most drawn to my partner when she is away, when we are apart, when we reunite. Basically, when I get back in touch with my ability to imagine myself with my partner, when my imagination comes back in the picture, and when I can root it in absence and in longing, which is a major component of desire”.
I guess that’s why the most independent women I know are often the ones in the most exciting, energised relationships!
If you’d like to learn more, watch Esther’s fascinating Ted Talk here.