Tag Archives: #change

Till Death Us Do Part: Could Your Marriage Last 80 Years?

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“I would argue that the best option is a happy partnership, but the next best option is happy singledom. I’ve known many friends and clients who are much happier now that they’re not in their relationship. Of course, there are single people who are unhappy without a companion, but from what I’ve seen, the unhappiest option is an unhappy marriage, because you don’t just have yourself to cope with”.

Susan Quilliam, Relationship Psychologist

If you’ve ever yearned after:

1. The happy ever after;
2. A Facebook fairytale to rival the weekly weddings clogging up your newsfeed; or
3. Wondered whether love really can last forever

this article is a must-read.

“If you have 30 more years after retirement, why stick with the same old same old when you might find someone better?”

Embracing love in all its complexities, Moya Sarner’s analysis is realistic, surprising, romantic and unromantic all at once, reminding us that marriage is anything but something to be pressured into.

So if you’re feeling rushed by the tick tocking of the clock or anything else for that matter, check out the tale of the 77 year old who found a relationship to rival her daughter’s – or the 60 year old man who found wedded bliss second time round – far deeper than number 1.

For more where that came from, read on here.

You won’t regret it.

The 10 Minute Magic Trick Back To Happiness

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What’s the sign that you’re truly ‪#‎happy‬?

What’s that feeling you get that tells you that all is exactly as it should be?

How do you know that something or someone is right for you?

For me, it was a bit of a surprise to discover it was a feeling of PEACE.

Times I’ve Felt Peaceful Include:

♧ When I left London for Madrid and then the mountains;
♧ When I left law for life coaching;
♧ When I write.

What Causes Calm?

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Living life in accordance with your values - those things which make you tick – your internal drivers – your silent anchors which, when honoured and engaged, make you feel alive and at peace.

What Causes Niggling Unease?

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If you’re feeling out of sorts at the moment – like you’re not quite where you’re meant to be – not doing a job you enjoy – not spending time with the right people – or not living in the right place – that’s likely because you’re not living your life in accordance with your values.

Maybe that’s because you feel too busy to take time out, too overwhelmed to think straight or maybe you’ve simply never sat down and worked out what really makes you tick.

The great news is, that feeling of unease is easy to resolve if you take a step back and spend ten minutes working out your values.

How To Recapture Your Va-Va-Voom 

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Tap into the real you by formulating a list of your 8-10 core drivers – the things which give you purpose – by asking yourself:

♧ What am I doing when I’m happiest? 
♧ What couldn’t I do without in my life?
♧ What would my ideal day involve?
♧ If I had all the money in the world, what would I be doing?
♧ If time was no object, where would you find me?

Your list may include words like: 

‪#‎freedom‬ ‪#‎friends‬ ‪#‎love‬ ‪#‎writing‬ ‪#‎nature‬ ‪#‎travel‬ ‪#‎money‬ and more.

It’s totally personal.

Now put those words in order of priority.  

Once you’ve done that you should be able to spot the cause of your unease.

Which one of those values isn’t being met at the moment? If it’s a value near the top of your list, chances are you’re feeling all kinds of funny.

Don’t Believe Me?

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You can test your values by looking back at times in your life when you felt unlike yourself – whether an ill-fitting relationship or an unfulfilling job. Review your values list against each scenario and I’ll bet you can identify which need wasn’t being met and why you felt so strange. Bear in mind, though, that your values evolve over time so what may have mattered to you ten years ago may hold less significance now.

The Magic Bullet

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Having identified your needs, ask yourself what can you do to realign your ‪#‎life‬ with your ‪#‎values‬.

Savour how much more confident you feel making a ‪#‎change‬ now you understand why you feel the way you do.

The Yoga Girl: Top Tips For Turning Your Life Around

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Happy Monday, lovely Gazer :) Boy are you in for a treat with the below… Here’s a hint…

She’s an Instagram sensation with 1.3 million people following her.

She’s known for impressive poses like those above (must try to become more flexible…) in tropical surrounds which make me dream of piña coladas and palm trees…

But what makes her really special really shocked me…

Revealed in the 20 minute interview below, here is a wee teaser – because it’s simply too good to wait for – and may just change your life.

The “Yoga Girl” seems to have it all…

She’s a beautiful blonde Swedish goddess living on the tropical Caribbean island of Aruba with her handsome new husband. She travels the world inspiring young girls and women doing what she loves – yoga and meditation and has a huge Instagram following alongside a range of beautiful books which I currently have on bulk order.

But it wasn’t always this way and this is what makes her success even more compelling…

Falling into the wrong crowd as a teenager, she ended up self-harming, taking drugs and drinking too much. She confesses she became totally self-destructive and was consumed with jealousy of her peers. Hard to imagine, isn’t it? A girl as pretty as her, jealous of others…

Then something changed…

Her mother was at her wits end and decided to send her on a meditation camp.

That decision would change her life.

Learning how to sit with her emotions peacefully, she was able to move from the victim mentality which saw her envying others for their seeming better ‘fortunes’ to the mentality of a fortune maker.

She transformed herself from someone who realised that sure, life can be unfair, but we are all in control of our destinies and taking responsibility for our actions, our decisions and our paths is the first step to empowerment and change. It was this realisation which propelled her from unhappiness to bliss, personally, professionally and spiritually.

Many of her followers are young girls who find themselves feeling similarly desperate to her in her youth – powerless, trapped and depressed. She tells them with the heart of someone who knows, if I can do it, so can you. Once you have the resources and attitude for change, you can own it.

If you do one thing today, wee Gazer..

treat yourself to watching the Yoga Girl’s video below. She holds some of the best kept secrets to happiness and change which will stay with you forever.

And if you’d like a sneaky peak into her top tips in the interim, here are a few for you to feast on:

* Nobody can change your life for you – only you can.

* Take responsibility for your actions. Luck is rarely why some are happier than others. Attitude is the difference.

* Meditation is a life-changing practise (more so than yoga), helping you to deal with emotions positively.

* Be inspired by good people who want to help you and keep an open-mind. In this case, it was her mother who encouraged her do a mediation camp she had little interest in. It changed her life. What’s to lose? All it takes is a first step.

Watch her video interview here and be inspired…

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#theyogagirl

#change

#transformation

#happiness

Review Of ‘The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari’. Riches To Rags Of A Richer Kind…

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Ever thought about turning your life upside down – jacking in your dream job and travelling to mystical territories to get some perspective? Ever had a boss or mentor who you imagined ‘had-it-all’, only to discover that they were pretty miserable underneath? Ever dreamed of changing path, if only you knew where to begin? If so, read my review of ‘The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari’ for Escape the City here, a bestselling story about a hotshot lawyer whose near fatal heart-attack in a court room propelled his voyage around India, where he discovered the kind of truths we only dream of…

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How To Have A Year That Counts

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“Go ahead. Tell me all you really want is…a life spent in the furious pursuit of…buying stuff you don’t want with money you don’t have by doing jobs you can’t stand to impress people you don’t like to fit in instead of stand out…just so you don’t have to remember, even for a nanosecond, there’s a truer reason you are here. To live a life that matters.

Sure. You can tell yourself that’s all there is to life. But nobody’s going to believe you. Even you”.

How To Have a Year That Counts” is a seriously thought-provoking essay written by author and economist Umair Haque and brought to my attention by the brilliant team at Escape The City. Read it. It will make you question reality as you know it.

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