Tag Archives: adversity

How To Get Motivated: Reframe Your Pain And Gain Gain Gain



“Satisfied needs do not motivate. It is only the unfulfilled needs that do so”

Stephen Covey, Bestselling Author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

When was the last time a grizzly, sick-to-your-stomach inducing situation turned out to be surprisingly positive and expansive?

How did you feel a few months down the line after that terrible break-up, unfair job loss or frightening health scare? Bitter, angry and stuck or grateful, wiser and surprisingly positive?

This is because of of a GEM OF A SECRET I’ll share with you.

The driving force behind motivation – what impels us to action – is produced by a state of tension, which exists as the result of an unfulfilled need


This is why being cut loose from situations which no longer serve us – is actually a blessing in disguise – launching us into positive change with an engine of tension-fuelled motivation beneath us.

So you see, the most difficult experiences in life are actually powerful catalysts for positive change


1. Losing a job and starting that business you’d dreamed about;
2. Breaking up with someone and taking up a new hobby that opens up a whole new social circle; or
3. Making a fresh start somewhere new and learning new languages and customs which tickle your soul and inspire you creatively

This is why discomfort can be such a powerful driver for growth

and why imagining how you DON’T want your life to be a year down the line is such an effective driver for achieving your goals.

How Can You Apply This In Your Daily Life?


1. Reframe Your Pain - Remember that discomfort and pain are the great catalysts for growth. If you do one thing today, wee Gazer, try reframing pain and discomfort into the positive motivator that it is and turn your attention to the new and exciting ideas and projects which that tension is releasing within you.

2. Get Inspired - The likes of bestselling authors like Cheryl Strayed and Elizabeth Gilbert didn’t get where they are through comfort. Au contraire – they side stepped, jagged, from the grief-stricken wounds of trauma to the high-flying realms of success that see their names in lights today.

Similarly, if you think Steve Jobs and Richard Branson just got lucky, take a look at the challenges they both harnessed to achieve sky-high success. Sackings, imprisonments, betrayals aren’t what you’d expect, are they? If they can do it, why can’t you?

3. Still Struggling? And if you’re not quite there yet, give yourself a breather and remember – those challenges are what make you the person that you are today – and they will be the making of your tomorrow.

“If You’re Going Through Hell, Keep Going!” Why Winston Churchill’s Words Are So True





‘The women whom I love and admire for their strength and grace did not get that way because shit worked out. They got that way because shit went wrong and they handled it. They handled it in a thousand different ways on a thousand different days but they handled it. Those women are my superheroes’.

Elizabeth Gilbert, Best-selling Novelist


I remember reading Elizabeth Gilbert’s wonderful novel, Eat Pray Love, in the wake of a period of what felt like challenge after challenge. A time when it felt like every one of the basic human needs – love, significance and certainty – had been turned on its head – a bit like being in a washing machine. You’d never guess that from the first picture above, would you?

So if you’re muddling through challenge at the moment, wee Gazer, no matter how big or small, hang on tight and keep going :)

That feeling of being lost is the beginning of a journey of wisdom and strength.







WARNING: JK Rowling’s Havard Speech May Change Your Life




A wonderful friend (top right) sent me this article from Stylist magazine this morning.

This was a girl who lost her dissertation the day before the deadline, rewrote it all that night and got a First Class Degree nonetheless.

A girl who has taught me shovel loads about the power of friendship, strength and courage.

A girl who continues to exemplify the best parts of really living – helping those less fortunate than herself – whether working with rape victims during university or supporting wounded ex-servicemen and their families.

Constantly throwing herself outside her comfort zone, the latest being joining the Army, this is a girl who reminds me what really matters. No surprise, then, that JK Rowling’s Commencement Speech to Harvard in 2008 resonated with her.

Thank you, Alex, for sharing this funny and inspirational graduation address. A true tale of rags to riches, with no loss of heart along the way, it’s no surprise it’s been watched nearly 1.5 million times on YouTube. Now it’s being released as a beautifully illustrated book. From the lessons of struggling (“I was as poor as it is possible to be in modern Britain without being homeless”) to the joy of friendships, Stylist shares some of JK Rowling’s words of wisdom.

On Failure


“It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default.

Failure gave me an inner security that I had never attained by passing examinations. Failure taught me things about myself that I could have learned no other way. I discovered that I had a strong will and more discipline than I had suspected; I also found out that I had friends whose value was truly above the price of rubies.

The knowledge that you have emerged wiser and stronger from setbacks means that you are, ever after, secure in your ability to survive. You will never truly know yourself, or the strength of your relationships, until both have been tested by adversity.”

On Imagination


“If you choose to use your status and influence to raise your voice on behalf of those who have no voice; if you choose to identify not only with the powerful but with the powerless; if you retain the ability to imagine yourself into the lives of those who do not have your advantages, then it will not only be your proud families who celebrate your existence but thousands and millions of people whose reality you have helped change. We do not need magic to transform our world; we carry all the power we need inside ourselves already: we have the power to imagine better.”

On Friendship


“The friends with whom I sat on graduation day have been my friends for life. They are my children’s godparents, the people to whom I’ve been able to turn in times of real trouble, people who have been kind enough not to sue me when I took their names for Death Eaters. At our graduation we were bound by enormous affection, by our shared experience of a time that could never come again, and, of course, by the knowledge that we held certain photographic evidence that would be exceptionally valuable if any of us ran for Prime Minister.

So today, I wish you nothing better than similar friendships.”