Author Archives: Melanie Pritchard

My 3 Top Tips For Overcoming Heartache

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Happy Monday, Gazers.

Inspired by a Facebook pop-up from 10 years ago, this is a top mindset tip for anyone who has ever:

  • Suffered heartbreaking betrayal that took your breath away and knocked you for six — for some time to come;
  • Struggled to believe in the goodness of others and worried that your ability to trust was gone for good;
  • Worried that the old you was lost forever, replaced by a new jaded model with the kind of baggage that would break the back of the strongest of porters.

A Personal Tale Of Pain & Loss

The picture below was me at university with my first love. A lovely, giddy, gentle love for much of our five year romance — the kind of love others seemed to aspire to — the kind of love that stirred boyish wonderings about babies and forevers — the kind of love that went on to break my heart into a million pieces and make me question whether honesty, integrity and trust could ever really exist again.

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Discovering that the man I’d trusted had been living a double-life was breath-taking in all the wrong ways – for me — my family — and anyone who had known us.

I’m not going to lie – the revelation knocked me for six — right before 12 law exams that challenge students even in their rightest of minds. In short – it was a twist in the fairytale like I had never imagined — a complete loss of innocence that left a gaping hole in my soul — my self-esteem — and my ability to trust for some time to come. I’m sure you know what I’m talking about if you’ve experienced something similar.

But I’m not here to mope on the downs – for thankfully they are now long gone. I’m here to share my top tips for lifting you out of real, back-breaking trauma – of any kind:

1. Get Some Counselling.

When you’ve experienced the kind of shock that shakes you to your core whether romantic, professional or otherwise, help yourself heal through counselling. Sharing overwhelming feelings will help you process your emotions, deal with your vulnerability and move forward into positive relationships that are good for you.

2. Remember How Far You’ve Come. 

Rebuilding yourself when you feel blindsided takes huge amounts of courage and strength. Even the smallest of steps are to be celebrated. Make sure you celebrate these weekly in a journal and watch your growth — maybe not back to the old you — but a new, wiser, stronger version of your old self.

3. Know That Suffering Is The Root Of Enlightenment. 

As Ekhart Tolle says: ‘The down cycle is absolutely essential for spiritual realisation’ – or put another way – ‘The wound is the place the light enters you’ (Rumi). So when you’re feeling low, remember, that’s the root from which strength and wisdom grow – the best basis for a life bursting with consciousness, empathy, presence and deep fulfilment.

How Can You Apply This In Your Daily Life?

So while that pain body may have dented the old you more than a little, know that nothing is truly permanent and the sun will rise again. And that countless others have gone through, survived and blossomed after soul-shaking challenges. Reframe your pain a little like that, if you can, and watch the law of attraction bring abundance and happiness your way.

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The Thin Line Between Love And Hate: Why The Best Marriage Advice Won’t Be What You Think

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“Generally, if someone’s advice isn’t coming from personal experience, I’m not that interested. Which is why, back when I was 24 and getting married, I paid full attention when a friend’s parent who had been married for 30 years offered some marriage advice.

Nine years later, the advice he gave me has not only saved my marriage several times, but has inadvertently become some of the best business advice I’ve ever received as well”.

Elissa Bertot

The Secret Pearl

Click here to find out what the best piece of advice Elissa was given before she got married.

I would have been appalled 10 years ago – not now!

I guarantee one thing – it won’t be what you think…

10 Things To Let Go Of To Be Happy

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“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change those things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference”.

Reinhold Niebuhr 

If you’ve ever wondered why you don’t feel happier, here are
10 Things To Let Go Of To Be Happy from Power Of Positivity.

Many of us are guilty of 4 and 5, me included.

Which one is your Achilles heel?

 

Till Death Us Do Part: Could Your Marriage Last 80 Years?

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“I would argue that the best option is a happy partnership, but the next best option is happy singledom. I’ve known many friends and clients who are much happier now that they’re not in their relationship. Of course, there are single people who are unhappy without a companion, but from what I’ve seen, the unhappiest option is an unhappy marriage, because you don’t just have yourself to cope with”.

Susan Quilliam, Relationship Psychologist

If you’ve ever yearned after:

1. The happy ever after;
2. A Facebook fairytale to rival the weekly weddings clogging up your newsfeed; or
3. Wondered whether love really can last forever

this article is a must-read.

“If you have 30 more years after retirement, why stick with the same old same old when you might find someone better?”

Embracing love in all its complexities, Moya Sarner’s analysis is realistic, surprising, romantic and unromantic all at once, reminding us that marriage is anything but something to be pressured into.

So if you’re feeling rushed by the tick tocking of the clock or anything else for that matter, check out the tale of the 77 year old who found a relationship to rival her daughter’s – or the 60 year old man who found wedded bliss second time round – far deeper than number 1.

For more where that came from, read on here.

You won’t regret it.

Serenity v Stress: 50 Ways To Take A Break

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If you’re stuck for ways to relax this week, check out 50 Ways to Take a Break above.

There are too many I love but if I had to choose, my favourites would be:

1. Call a friend;
2. Sit in nature; and
3. Pet a furry creature.

What makes you relax and unwind?

Into dreamy states that make your soul soar and your thoughts roam?

Whatever they are, indulge in them. And observe where your mind takes you. Those are the paths to wander down and wonder about.

And just for good measure, add another you don’t normally indulge in and observe how it lifts you up. 

Happiness Made Easy: 10 Ways To Reduce Regrets

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Happy Tuesday, Gazers.

Here’s a mood boosting – soul soothing – minute-long sketch that will set you up for the week ahead – 10 Ways to Reduce Regrets in Life.

It’s all true – especially numbers 1, 5, 6 and 8 – which have certainly up-levelled my life.

How Can You Apply This In Your Daily Life?

Work through one a week and feel yourself getting greater clarity on who you are and what you want.

Sounds simple, doesn’t it, but that’s where the magic happens.

 

A Toolkit For Happiness: 4 Steps To A More Fulfilling Life

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“Happiness can be found, in even the darkest of times, if only one remembers to turn on the light”

JK Rowling  ☂ ☼ ☆

If you’ve been:

△ Feeling a bit blue or out of sorts;
△ Wondering how to re-inject the joy into your joie de vivre; or
△ Asking yourself if life’s all it’s cracked up to be

this article by Elissa @Favor the Bold Communications is for you ♡

A 5-minute toolkit with a sad start, I guarantee these tips from the top will give you some easy to implement magic resources to put the spring back in your step ♫

Suicidal To Bridal: A Single Girl’s Guide From Tragic To Magic

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Happy Sunday, dear Gazers ♢
For those of you have have ever wondered:
Will I ever meet my soul mate?
♡ Are fairytales the stuff of fantasy?
♡ Why haven’t I met Prince Charming yet?

Here is a magic little story of hope about a girl who looks just like me.

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She always got a fair bit of attention from the boys – but none quite mature enough – or extraordinary enough – to hold her tight – for richer for poorer – till death do us part.

And after what felt like an age going for men who looked (or acted) like 10 year old skateboarders (sometimes with eyeliner and leather waistcoats), she – finally – struck – gold – when a distant friend connected her with some guy called OJ. She said she’d like him because he was well-spoken and wore Chelsea boots.

Turned out she liked him for reasons which ran a little deeper in the end!

His Roman nose for one.

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And his ability to put up with her random acts of eccentricity – smearing humous in his face on date two – date TWO.

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While some of the other boys had tugged on her heartstrings – in all the wrong ways – OJ’s first thought on date 2 was, “What would a girl like this see in a guy like me?” Irony of ironies.

As their short wedding video below shows, she found her Prince Charming – in the boy with the round eyes and the Roman nose.

She found her fairytale – despite, no doubt, wondering at times whether it would ever materialise.

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So I beseech you today, dear Gazers – especially for those of you who may find it hard to keep believing from time to time:

1. You are worth the wait;
2. The wait will be worth it; and
3. You will be everything and more to your extraordinary other half – who is also waiting patiently for you.

Warts and all.

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So never stop believing in yourself and your love story.

Let the transiences of transient hearts wash over you while you keep visualising your happy ending – stronger and stronger – brighter and brighter – exactly – as – you – see – it.

Your own unbelievable love story – the real-life fairytale – the full – dreamy – shabbang.

Because if you can believe it – you will receive it. It’s the law of attraction, after all. All you have to do is work out what you really want and busy yourself doing what makes you happy in the mean time.

And if you’re in a dip right now and are struggling to pull yourself out – this short wedding vid should help ♡

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Why CEOs Say Coaching Is Far More Than Hot Air

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“I never cease to  be amazed by the power of the coaching process”.

John Russell, Managing Director, Harley Davidson Europe

If, like me, your first impression of coaching was some wacky American self-help thang full of hot air, you wouldn’t be the first.

And I’ll bet my bottom dollar you won’t be the last to eat your words when you realise that:

“People, unless coached, never reach their maximum capabilities” Bob Nardelli, CEO, Home Depot

And by people, I’m talking clients from all walks of life – Cambridge graduates, company directors, school leavers and cynics. Like my highly successful friend who was dismayed he couldn’t become a Partner at his FTSE 500 company without a coaching session. After an hour with the coach, he soon changed his mind.

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If, like him a year back, you’re wondering what coaching is all about or how it could serve you with results based goods, check out some kind words below which walk you through the process ☄

“Melanie was incredibly helpful; she was insightful, she was understanding, and helped me to think of ways round issues and problems I had, or perceived I had!

She invited me to examine how the various areas of my life informed each other, and this was very revealing. I consider myself an insightful person, but she helped me to look at things truly; often it takes someone else to really reflect things to us.

She came from a very practical, yet empathetic stance, and was constantly encouraging. I felt that I could really take those small steps towards achieving what I wanted to achieve, and that it wasn’t as daunting as I had thought.

I think I had a tendency to over complicate things, and also to expect too much of myself. She helped me to break it down into small achievable goals, many of which I have now achieved.

Her knowledge, natural intelligence, warmth and wisdom gave me confidence that she believed in me, and therefore I should believe in myself a bit more!” –

Clare, Freelance Performer & Consultant, London

To check out how sessions work, pop on over here.

Why You Shouldn’t Believe The Hype About Getting Older

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If we all stop buying into the patriarchal ideas and start owning how beautiful it is and WHAT A PRIVILEGE it is to age – we will really start making leaps as women.”

Jen Pastiloff | Writer | Retreat Leader & Motivational Speaker

I know I’m guilty of this too at times but when I read quotes like these I’m reminded what ageing REALLY means:

1. How lucky we are not to be facing terminal trials which would leave us feeling the complete opposite – robbed of our time and sick to our stomachs time really can stop;

2. How lucky we are to gain new experiences year on year, even if we’re reminded of it by numbers and the onset of grey hairs;

3. How lucky we are to grow older and wiser with new challenges and trials, even if our wisdom is sometimes born out of pain – pain is the stuff that shakes us out of complacency after all – thank God for pain!

4. And how wonderful it would be to be sitting in a rocking chair at the ripe old age of 80 looking back at a life lived without regret and fear.

So today – I ask you – embrace your age!

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Quit letting your life be defined by a number.

By the linear.

By bullshit.

So much of life is about:

☼ chance;
☼ making your own luck;
☼ and how you feel.

That’s sexy – that’s life-loving – that’s youthful.

How To Reframe And Gain

So reframe the negative assumptions you buy into with positivity, proactivity and gratitude – that you may have the privilege, for years to come, to grow riper, wiser and more enlightened.

For as Susan Sarandon so wisely echoes:

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